Three months old!!

Dear Simon,

My dear boy, we’ve had you here with us for three whole months now! Your dad and I still think it was yesterday we were heading to the hospital to meet you, but actually, it has been three whole  months! You have grown so much in these last three months!  You’ve even grown so much just since last month.  Just look:

Two months old on January 21

 

Three months old on February 21

 

We had you weighed last Thursday when we went took you for your twelve week vaccinations. You were three days shy of three months and had already (practically) doubled your birth weight as you weighed a whopping 15 ½ pounds! Unbelievable! Your daddy used to hold you in the Magic Baby Hold only using one arm, but now you’re so big that he needs both his arms to support your cute, chubby body!

Magic Baby Hold at two weeks old

Magic Baby Hold at three months old

 

Your head is in the 99th percentile and your weight is hovering in the 75th percentile (up from the 50th percentile just four weeks ago). Anyway, back to that sweet, big head of yours! I love to cup your head in my hand and rub your soft hair. Your hair has lightened up quite a bit since you were born and it is blonde and light brown. We’ve found the only way we can get you to comfortably fall asleep at night is if we lay down with you and gently hold your head down. Otherwise, you’re constantly moving your head from side to side. Also, you will only sleep on your belly (and you’ve been that way since a week or so after you were born! All the books say to never sleep an infant on their bellies, but you know what? You didn’t read those books and you don’t care what they say!).

Speaking of sleep…guess what?! You’re beginning to fall into such a great routine! We had so many people tell us that you’d probably start sleeping better when you were twelve weeks old. But, your dad and I, well we just would smile at those well meaning people and think to ourselves, “You guys just don’t know our sweet, never-sleepy Simon!” However, the Sunday you turned eleven weeks, you also turned some kind of amazing corner! You’ve been sleeping better and better ever since! We’re now beginning the third week of a regular sleep routine with you. Before then, the only things we could count on were that you would not be heading to bed before midnight and you’d only sleep 2 ½ to 3 hours at a time. Now, though, you get your bath (which you love) around 7:30, nurse from about 8-9 during which (most nights) you fall asleep, and then around 9 pm, Daddy settles you in bed and you go at least 5 hours without waking up! And, three nights in a row you went around 7 ½ hours without waking up – which is unbelievable! Once you do wake up, I nurse you and then you fall back to sleep until around 8 am. Good boy! You’re also napping really well during the day.  Most days you go down for a nap after we Skype with Grandma sometime between 11 am and noon.  On a good day, you’ll sleep for 2 hours!

Afternoon nap on February 17 before 12 week injections

Now that you’re three months old, you’re a lot less cranky than you used to be! You were a textbook colicky baby (which means you would scream and cry an awful lot and had terrible gas that would make you twist and turn your body so much). While you’re not colicky anymore, you are still quite fussy! We like to think of you as a high-need baby.  We love you so much, but you are such a fussy-pants! You are happiest when you’re held by Mama or Daddy and you do not like to be put down for a minute! In the mornings, after you wake up and are fed and cuddled, you’re in your happiest mood. You do enjoy going in your swing for about ten minutes and then guess what you do in there? You smile a lot and you poop! Every single time! Your dad and I think your swing is magic!  We also put you in your swing for a bit after you’ve fallen asleep in our arms. 

Evening snooze in the swing on February 21

 

Something else that makes you poop is your hot bath! Even if you pooped just moments before going into your bath, you poop again!!! It is funny, but it sure can be a bit aggravating since it means Daddy has to empty your bath tub and fill it back up. Daddy really loves it when you splash around in your tub and are happy. Your legs and feet are always pumping in the tub and you push against the sides with such force that you almost launch yourself right out of the tub.

Most days you can sit in your bouncy seat for twenty whole minutes! You like the red frog and monkey that move up and down and you often stare intently at them. You also stare at the clock we have on the living room wall. You seem to really love the clock and when we hold you right in front of it, sometimes you smile!

Staring at the clock on February 17

You’ve started to smile at Sophie the Giraffe and seem to especially like it when we squeak her really hard. I can usually get you to smile when you’re lying on your back and I bop your nose with my fingers. Sometimes when Daddy comes home from work, you smile really big at him. You sit in your Bumbo seat every day for about ten minutes. You usually sit contently in the seat while I tend to the laundry (and oh, boy, do you create a lot of laundry with all your spit up and cloth diapers!) or do some other chore, like put the groceries away.

Sitting in the Bumbo while Mama puts the groceries away

You seem really entertained by your fists these days. You hold them straight up in front of you, very steadily. You’ve been doing this for three weeks now and Daddy noticed the first day you did this. For the last three weeks you’ve also really begun to show an interest in your black and white animal flashcards. A couple of times when we’ve shown you the cards, you’ve smiled when the parrot comes up.

Looking at Zippy the Zebra

My favorite thing you do started a couple weeks ago. Sometimes when I nurse you, you’re wide eyed and just stare and stare at me. Suddenly, you’ll break into such a big smile and stop feeding just to smile and stare. Then, as quickly as you stopped, you’ll start feeding again. It is so sweet and cute and sometimes makes me tear up.

These last three months have been wonderful. Your dad and I enjoy watching you grow and discover new things and we are both in awe of how quickly you’re changing.

I love you, my boy.

Mama

 

A Letter About Thanksgiving: Part 1

Dear Sweet Boy,

This won’t be the only letter I write to you about Thanksgiving (well, I don’t think it will be),  but while the split pea soup is cooking and your dad is at the pub with a few of his colleagues (a Friday ritual for his department), I thought I’d take just a minute to tell you a bit about what I did today – and it has a little to do with Thanksgiving.

First of all, Thanksgiving is my all time favorite holiday.  Your dad and I have spent 4 Thanksgivings together so far:

As you might be able to tell from this picture of Thanksgiving 2006, I was very keen on matching.  Your dad, ever the good sport, followed my directions and wore a grey turtleneck.  (I will probably dress the three of us in some matchy outfits, I’m afraid.  By the time you’re old enough to be embarrassed, I promise you I’ll stop.)

Here we are, very newly engaged (as in we were engaged the day before Thanksgiving!) and matching (surprised?) in 2007.

Thanksgiving in 2008 just kind of happened – very unexpectedly.  Since we were living in the UK, we were just going to skip it.  But, I found a place in London that sold Libby’s canned pumpkin and Stove Top stuffing, so we overnighted the goods and cooked a small little dinner – just the two of us.  We couldn’t find a turkey, so we had to settle on another American delicacy, meatloaf.

And last year, in 2009, your dad was in the US during the actual week of Thanksgiving, so we had our own celebration at the beginning of November.  Still not being able to get a hold of a turkey, we just enjoyed a bunch of delicious Thanksgiving-y side dishes. 

This year, we’ve gone back and forth about what to do about Thanksgiving.  We were going to have a “fakesgiving” in the beginning of November, kind of like last year, but here we are, November 19, and we never got around to that.  To be honest, I think we both gave up the dream of a good Thanksgiving meal because our current cooking facililties are very limited.  Very limited.  But, as Thanksgiving drew nearer and nearer, I think we both kind of realized it’d be better to try to do something to celebrate rather than nothing.  Since your dad lectures on Thursdays, he couldn’t take the day off, but we decided to just have a very simple meal of green bean casserole and mashed potatoes for dinner.  Now here’s where today comes in…

We do most of our grocery shopping online and today I needed to put an order in so we’d get the groceries for tomorrow (our cupboards, and fridge, are quite bare!!). Well, a seemingly simple task turned into 6 hours worth of work today!  Your dad sometimes marvels at how long it can take me to do something – like put in a grocery order or make a decision about something.  Anyway, I thought about how nice it would be to have a few more special things to eat next Thursday besides just mashed potatoes and green bean casserole, so I searched around and found three other things to make.  And then, well, shopping online just takes me forever.  Forever!

I spent a lot of time thinking about you today!  For most of the time I was in the office chair at the computer, you were stretching out your legs and making your presence very well known.   Being that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, when we found out you were due on November 27th, I was overjoyed thinking about how you’d be born right around – or maybe even on – Thanksgiving.  I know that the liklihood of you being born next Thursday, or Friday, or even Saturday is probably pretty low – and while I’m definitely not holding my breath, a tiny part of me is holding out hope.  Because, what if?!

No matter when you’re born, I’m going to be thrilled!  If you’re born in December, guess what?  Decemeber will be my favorite new month!  But, I kind of want you to love Thanksgiving like I do and I guess, maybe, I thought the chances of you loving Thanksgiving might be a bit greater if you were born on or around it.  However, I was not born in November and I still ended up loving Thanksgiving, so I know my logic is a little weird.  This holiday, though, centered around food and family and fall and most of all, gratitude, I want you to love it.  I want you to be excited when November rolls around because of green bean casserole and crepe paper turkey centerpieces and pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie and visits with Grandma and taking time to count your blessings and decorating for Christmas and listening to Christmas music and drinking apple cider and leftover turkey sandwiches and being lazy together on the couch, me, you, and your dad. 

The split pea soup is just about done and I should wash the dishes up now.  I will write more on Thanksgiving for you later, I promise.

Love,

Mama

 

In Which I Tell You A Bit About Music

Dear Little One,

I want to tell you a bit about music and how it’s kind of a big deal in my life.  While I can’t wait to find out what moves you and what becomes a big deal in your life, I’ll put my vote in right now for music!  I want you to love listening to music and I want you to love making music.  I want you to love some of the music that I love (you don’t have to like everything I like, but it’d be pretty awesome if you could like some of what I like to listen to) and I want you to discover something on your own and want to share it with me.  I want you to fall in love with the sound of a musical instrument and want to figure out how to play it yourself.  Of course, it’s going to be absolutely fine if you never play a musical instrument.  It’s just that I know how fun it can be to play an instrument and I want you to experience that fun, too.

I have your grandmother to thank for how much I love music.  You see, she is a big music lover herself and she worked hard to make music available to both your uncle and to me.  It all started with my Fisher Price record player that could play both plastic and real records.  My first record was Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” and I absolutely loved that song.  I graduated to a pink casette player and to casette tapes when Grandma gave me Whitney Houston’s self titled tape and Amy Grant’s The Collection.  I had never heard of Amy Grant, but that tape became my favorite and I became a fan.  As an 8 year old, I had every word to every song on that tape memorized (though sometimes I got the lyrics wrong – for instance, I mistakenly thought Amy sang, “I could stand here an Indian woman,” when what she really sang was, “I could stand here an angry young woman.”)  I remember saving up my money and going to the music store in the mall where I bought my first casette tape, Whitney Houston’s next album, the one with “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.”  And for a few years, all of Amy Grant’s casettes were on birthday wish lists until I had the whole collection.  I wish that for you – I want you to love a musician or a musical group so much that you want to get your hands (and ears) on every album of theirs that’s been released;  that their lyrics will mean something to you and you know them well enough that you don’t need the music playing to know what comes next; that you’ll be able to connect a lyric of theirs to something that happens in your day or to a belief you might have.  That’s how I was with Amy Grant (and have been with a few other musicians since Amy) and that’s how Grandma is still with Bob Dylan.  One thing I love about music (and especially the musicians I have loved in my life) is how it has the capacity to express what I’m feeling and put those feelings not only into words, but sound.  I want you to experience that, too.  I also love how music can transport me right back to a specific time and place and conjure up all sorts of memories.  I think that’s absolutely amazing – and unique.  Again, I want you to experience that.  

Then there came concerts!  Grandma took your uncle and me to our first concert in December of 1988.  I was 9 and it was Amy Grant’s Lead Me On tour.  I remember so many things about that night – how someone we were sitting next to complained about the noise!  It wasn’t too loud for me!  I remember eating dinner beforehand at a fast food restaurant completely high on excitement.  I remember the opening act and the unbelievable anticipation I felt trying to wait patiently for Amy to finally take the stage.  I remember the thrill of hearing the songs live – the very songs that I played over and over on my pink casette player.  And I remember getting my souvenir tshirt and tour booklet.  Grandma and I have since been to so many concerts together, my boy: a few more Amy Grant concerts, Michael W Smith, DC Talk, Caedmon’s Call, Bebo Norman, Nichole Nordeman (we went to a concert of hers instead of my college graduation!), Andrew Peterson, Derek Webb, Sandra McCracken, Jars of Clay, Third Day, Siler’s Bald, and several Bob Dylan concerts (including one where Paul Simon was his opening act, which has been my favorite).  I wish that for you – that I’ll get to take you to your first concert, that we’ll drive for hours together to get to a show that you’ll love and remember forever.

I’ve been able to share my love of music with your dad.  In the early days when we first started dating, I would make him mixed cds of some of my favorite songs.  I wanted to introduce him to some of my favorite musicians and bands – bands that we ended up getting to see together in concert!  Your dad has been such a good sport.  He knows how much I love music and he has listened to me, very patiently!, go on and on about a specific song or concert experience or band memory.  I have played countless songs for him and I one of the things that I love about your dad is how he seems genuinely interested in what interests me.  He’ll do the same for you and that’s one of the ways I already know he’s going to make a great father.  He will be genuinely interested in what interests you – and that includes whatever song or band you love.  Trust me.  He is such a good sport, too.  When we were just dating, he’d drive for hours and plan special trips to go to concerts with me.  I don’t have pictures of us at our very first concert ever (which was actually before we started dating - I wanted desperately to go to see the Dave Matthews Cover Band and he agreed to go with me!), or our second concert together (Copeland and Jack’s Mannequin in Jacksonville), but I do have this picture of us at a Death Cab for Cutie concert back in November of 2006:

Your dad and I had such a great time at that concert and it was very special for us to hear the song “Transatlanticism” live.  (That song was arguably one of “our” songs while we were dating.)  I wasn’t able to take a picture while they were playing “Transatlanticism,” but this picture is from when they played “Title and Registration” which is another one of my favorites.  The concert took place at UCF’s arena (UCF is where your dad went to college for his undergraduate and master’s degrees) and it was crowded!

This is a picture of us at another very special concert, Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb tour.  (I’ll have to tell you more about Andrew Peterson in another letter a bit later.)  Grandma and I both love Andrew Peterson and at the time we went to this concert in December of 2006, your cousin, Alias, was living with Grandma – so, your dad, your grandma, your cousin, and I all went to this concert together.  We sat in the front row and I dare say we all absolutely loved the show!  It was extremely special for me because I was able to introduce your dad to one of my all time favorite, favorite musicians, Andrew Peterson, and Derek Webb.

The only action shot I have from the Andrew Peterson & Friends concert is this one.  It’s of Gabe playing the hammered dulcimer, an instrument I love!  I can’t wait to play a few of my favorite Andrew Peterson songs for you that feature the hammered dulcimer.  (The picture is a little blurry because I didn’t have the flash on.)

This last is a picture of the last concert your dad and I went to together.  It was last year, Novemeber 2009, and it was a magical concert.  It was a perfect day in London together, a perfect venue for the show, and a perfect performance.  The only thing not so perfect was that we had to stand in the rain before they opened the doors to the venue and that’s why we’re a bit wet in this picture.  But, we were both too excited to care.

This last is a photo of William Fitzsimmons.  He’s a peculiar guy with the biggest beard we’ve ever seen, but he sure can sing and he sure can play his guitar.

So, just to recap: I love music.  I hope you love music, too.  If you ever decide you want to play a musical instrument, no matter which one it is, I will support and encourage you 100%.  I love going to concerts.  I hope your dad and I can share in the excitement of taking you to concerts.  You don’t have to listen to “my” music, but it’d be great if you’d give a few songs a try.  I want you to discover what music moves you and I want you to share it with me and your dad.  We promise we’ll be interested.

Love,

Mama

 

In Which I Tell You About Macarons And A Little About Traveling

My Dear Boy,

You’re going to be born into a family of macaron lovers, and I hope you become one, too.  Your dad and I have Grandma to thank for introducing us to the macaron.  Before I go any farther, here’s a picture of some macarons.  Not only are they delicious, they’re also beautiful:

They’re delicate little cookies made out of almond flour, egg whites, and sugar and filled with wonderful goodness – sometimes a buttercream, sometimes a ganache, and sometimes other things that are just divine (but I don’t know exactly what they are!).  They come in a variety of pretty colors and flavors and the ones pictured above are some of the special summer flavors that Laduree had: bergamot, mint, and blackbcurrant and violet.

Now, the back story.  Your grandma absolutely loves Paris.  When I was studying abroad in England in the year 2000, she came to visit for two glorious weeks around Easter time.  I knew that I just had to arrange a trip to Paris so that she could see the Eiffel Tower for herself.  Well, I wish I could say it was that trip where we tasted our first macarons, but it wasn’t.  That wonderful first Parisian trip just whetted both of our appetites to return to the beautiful city one day and sure enough, we were back on our way for Christmas in 2002.  This time, however, Grandma had done lots of research on Paris and discovered a fabulous tea room called Laduree in one of her magazines.  Going to Laduree had a very significant spot on our itinerary – in fact, it was more important, I think, than going to the Eiffel Tower. 

Our first trip to Laduree was wonderful.  Grandma had the magazine with us and even had our server sign the page that featured the very tea room where we were!  And that’s when we tried our first macarons.  We didn’t know quite what to expect, but we both fell in love.  I had never heard of anything rose flavored, so when I saw that rose was one of the flavors, my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to give it a whirl.  It was a little bit of heaven!  Rose is still my favorite flavor – absolutely divine!

Well, three years later, would you believe that Grandma and I just had to return to Paris at Christmas time.  We spent our time going to all of the Laduree locations and enjoying the fabulous macarons.  Oh, I should mention that macarons are extremely difficult to find in the US.  I think now they’re kind of catching on and I have seen people mention discovering macarons on their blogs – but, mostly these people live in very cosmopolitan and fancy cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco.  Trying to find macarons was just impossible for us, so we just had to go to Paris to get them!   Here’s a picture of one of our trips to Laduree that Christmas.  You can see Grandma’s macaron selection: pistachio, chocolate, and I think probaby two vanilla (which is her favorite flavor).  You can see my huge rose macaron, too, filled with raspberries and rose cream!  Absolutely delicious!

When your dad and I moved to England, we discovered that there was a Laduree in the very famous London department store, Harrod’s.  So, I was delighted both to introduce your dad to the macaron he’s heard us rave about and to take your grandma there for our first Christmas in England together in 2008.  Here is a photo of Grandma and me outside the Harrod’s Laduree with our take-away macarons and their special tea.  Oh, their tea is just as magical as their macarons!

So, Laduree is a big deal in our home.  Every time Grandma comes to visit, special trips are made to London just to squeeze in some macarons.  When your dad and I go into London to for some reason, we always stop by Laduree for some macarons.  Perhaps the most special trip I’ve had with your dad to Laduree was shortly after our first anniversary.  We took a wonderful trip to Paris together and I was able to show him Laduree in all its French glory!

Maybe macarons are such a big deal to me because they represent a bit more than just an amazing French cookie.  Every time I eat a macaron, I’m reminded of the magical experiences I’ve had traveling with both your grandma and your dad in Paris.  Those are such special, special memories for me.  I want to promise you we’ll take you to Paris one day, too.  But, I can’t make that promise – it’s so expensive and I don’t know how I’ve been so blessed to have been four times.  I can promise you that your dad and I will do our absolute best to travel with you – to introduce you to new places (I have such a dream to take you to the Grand Canyon one day and I know your dad wants to take you to a National Park or two).  I don’t know where or how far we’ll travel with you – these new places might be relatively close to where we end up living or they might be an ocean away.  But, we want to expose you to as many new places as we can.  I can’t promise you that we’ll get to give you macarons from Laduree (though I really hope I can share this experience with you, too, one day), but I can promise you that we’ll try to introduce you to new foods and we’ll always be on the search for fun tid-bits to eat. 

One of my wishes for you, dear boy, is that you’ll feel the magic of Paris and the macaron in your own way.  You might not end up loving Paris and macarons nearly as much as I do, but I want you to experience the magic and love and enthusiasm for a place and an experience (like eating a macaron).  

Love,

Mama

 

In Which I Tell You About How The Midwife Thinks You’ll Be Over-due!

Hello there, Baby!

We got to hear your sweet heart beat again this morning at the 38 week check up.  Karen, our midwife, is pretty sure you’re going to arrive after your due date of the 27th.  She thinks this because you haven’t yet begun to “engage” – probably because you’re prefectly happy right where you are!  And I don’t blame you!  It is getting so cold here!  On our walk to the doctor’s office this morning, we saw people pouring buckets of hot water on their cars to get rid of the ice!  The brown crunchy leaves on the ground were covered with a white frost, too!  Your dad and I tried to imagine how in the world we’ll keep you warm once you arrive, but I think we’ll manage!  We have lots of nice, warm blankets for you and a cozy snow suit that we can’t wait to stuff you in!  The midwife also said that she thinks you will be at least 8 lbs!  That is a good, healthy size, my boy!  We’ll see if she ends up being right.

Pregnancy is amazing.  It’s also a huge mystery!  I can feel you moving all around and I can even see you moving all around!  Sometimes your movements are so unbelievable and strong that it looks like you’re going to just pop out!  I’ve never been able to understand what little body part of yours is poking or pushing or prodding my insides though.  Today I asked Karen to really feel around and try to determine what body parts are where.  I think I’ve got a pretty good idea now of where your little feet are.  You sure do enjoy stretching out during the day and I sure do enjoy feeling those little (or big!) stretches.

I want to tell you something more than all this.  I want to tell you about something important.  But, I’m just super tired!  Saturday’s walk into town, yesterday’s trip to London with that Harry Potter walking tour, and today’s walk to and from the doctor’s office just really have me exhausted!  It’s just about 5:30 pm here and your dad will be leaving work in an hour!  I’ve been looking forward to this evening all day – we’re going to have a tea party tonight with some very special macaron treats!  (By the way, I can’t wait to have tea parties with you!  Don’t ever think that tea parties are just for girls.  They are not.  Your dad absolutely loves them, and he will love having tea parties with you, too!  I can’t wait to introduce you to the macaron!  Maybe I’ll tell you all about them in another letter soon!) 

Just know that I love spending these days leading up to your arrival at home – just me with you inside me stretching out your little legs a million times into my ride side!  I love just being quiet and thinking about when you’ll arrive.  I can’t wait to meet you aand have your join this little family of ours just in time for Christmas.

Love,

Mama

 

38 Weeks

Dear Baby,

Today marks my 38th week of pregnancy.  You’ve got two more official weeks to go before your due date.  And, you’re still growing!  Look how big you and I are:

We’ve got an appointment with the midwife in two days and we can’t wait to hear your heartbeat again and to see how you’ve grown.

You probably won’t be born on your exact due date; babies rarely are.  I was!  But that’s because Grandma had to be induced – her doctor thought that I was getting too big, so she was induced and I was born exactly on my due date, June 14.  Your dad was born a bit early.  His parents can’t quite remember the exact date he was due, but it was sometime in July and he was born on June 30!  Your dad and I have decided to guess when you’re going to be born – just for the fun of it.

Your dad’s guess is November 30.  He guesses the 30th because it’s a nice number divisible by five and it’s still in November.  I’m guessing December 2.  I have no reason why other than when we were talking about it, December 2 just popped into my mind.  Today we talked about how much you might weigh and how long you might be.  This is all very silly talk since there is no way of knowing or even making an educated guess – but, your dad thinks you’re going to be 8 lbs, 10 oz, and just barely 20 inches long.  (He’s hoping you’ll be pretty chubby!)  I think you’re going to be 8 lbs, 2 oz, and will be 22 inches long.  Won’t we be surprised when you finally get here!

They say that pregnant women have very vivid dreams and that they often will dream about their unborn children.  During my pregnancy with you, I really only remember one dream that I about you.  It was quite some time ago and you communicated through an ultrasound that you’d like to be born on a Friday and you’d like to arrive on time.  So, it seems that your guess is Friday, November 26.

Whenever you finally get here, your dad and I will be so happy and it will be THE MOST perfect birth date for you EVER.

Love,

Mama

PS I got a haircut today

 

In Which I Encourage You To Stay In School As Long As You Can

Dear Son,

Both your dad and I have wondered about what you’re going to be when you grow up.  It’s been fun to think about even though we haven’t met you yet and we don’t know about any of the interests or hobbies you’re going to develop.  One thing we do know for sure is this: we want you to be whatever you want.  We never want you to feel defeated or think for a moment that you can’t do something.  We don’t want you making a career decision based on how easy it will be or how much money you’ll make.  Above all, we want you to be happy and not afraid to change your mind.

You’ll find out soon that people will always ask you this question: What do you want to be when you grow up?  Don’t be afraid to tell them that you don’t know.  It’s something that both your dad and I have found a very difficult question and our answers have changed so many times over the course of our lives.  The earliest answer both of us can remember was from when we were each seven years old and in the second grade.

I wanted to be an author.  My second grade teacher, Mrs. O’Dea, encouraged my story writing and gave me little blank books with cardboard covers covered in patterned contact paper.  I filled up about ten of those little books when I was in second grade and I still have them.  I’ll let you read them one day if you want and you can be horrified, just like Grandma was, that my spelling was so atrocious.  Mrs. O’Dea believed in letting her students sound out their words and didn’t care so much if we spelled things correctly.  In the third grade, I still wanted to be an author.  I wrote a little essay about how your uncle cooked us macaroni and cheese and almost gave us mercury poisoning and I ended up going to the Young Authors’ Conference with Mrs. Rincones.  Somewhere down the road though, I figured out that I couldn’t really be an author.  My stories weren’t that good.

When your dad was in second grade, he wanted to be something very specific: a priest who drove a taxi!  Your dad wanted to be a priest for several reasons: everyone listened to the priest, everyone wanted the priest to come over for dinner, and the priest got to keep all the money in the offering plate each Sunday.  Now, that last reason isn’t really true, but your seven-year-old-dad didn’t know that.  What about the taxi driving part, right?  Well, your dad thought that he could do the most good as a priest if he drove a taxi because then he could preach to his passengers rather than just concentrate on preaching to the people who come to church (because he thought they were already good if they were going to church).

Our interests ended up changing over the years and so did our answers to that one question.  At various times I wanted to be a vet, scientist, and speech pathologist.  Your dad wanted to be psychiatrist, doctor, and at one point, wanted to join the Navy.  When we both graduated from high school, our minds had changed again: I went off to college thinking I’d become a teacher and your dad went to college planning on becoming a hospital administrator.

I think the best advice I can offer you is this: Do not be afraid to change your mind.  I was one of those people who changed her mind, and major, about a dozen times during the course of four years.  I even changed my mind in my senior year, dropping education because I had decided I did not want to be a teacher (nevermind that I eventually became a teacher – that’s a whole other story).  Another piece of advice I can offer you is: Take your time to truly discover what you’re interested in.  I wish I had done more of this – exploring my options and not caring so much if the classes I was registering for were counting towards something.  You might head off to college knowing exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life.  You also might end up facing graduation as a 21 or 22 year old and have no clue what it is you want to do.  Either way is fine, and anything in between is ok, too.  Just know that if you don’t know what you want to do, simply look through a course catalog and choose something you think sounds fun.  Please don’t be in a hurry to graduate (but that doesn’t mean we want you to waste a bunch of time dilly-dallying!).

Your dad and I are also big believers in going to graduate school.  Your dad ended up going to graduate school partly because he wasn’t convinced becoming a hospital administrator was for him.  Instead, he pursued a masters degree in economics and nearly got a second masters in statistics.  He did both of these things because he found out he enjoyed these subjects and decided to pursue them and see where they took him.  Ultimately, he continued his graduate studies and pursued a PhD in applied economics.  Your dad has said that getting an undergraduate degree is great and it shows that a person can learn.  But, it doesn’t have to be in a subject that you “use” in your career.  For instance, your dad got his undergraduate degree in Health Administration and that has nothing to do with what he does now.  He thinks graduate school is where you really decide what you’re going to do.  So, all those answers to that one question everyone always asks?  Well, they’re just practice answers and a lot of times you might not figure out THE answer until you’re well into graduate school.  Just know that’s ok – it’s completely normal.  (Also know that you don’t have to stay in school forever.)

We want you to pursue your own interests.  We want you to be happy.  We want you to enjoy learning.  We promise you that we’ll do our best to introduce you to new things and try to expose you to lots of different interests – even if it’s something that your dad and I never were interested in ourselves.  I can’t wait to go on this journey with you – to see which roads you end up going down and to see which subjects you come to love.  I can’t wait to find out what you want to be when you grow up – and I will be there through every step of the way, no matter how many times you might change your mind.

There’s so much that I have to say to you about this and I think that you’ll probably hear your dad and I talk about education and careers a lot when you’re growing up.  That might get annoying, I know, but please know that we just want to encourage you to find something that you love and to pursue it.  We also want you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can be whatever you want to be. 

Love,

Mama

 

In Which I Tell You A Little About Your Uncle & Cousin

Dear Little One,

Let me introduce you to your uncle and cousin, Alias and Raider.  When I told your uncle I was pregnant with you, it was Mother’s Day weekend.  I called him and said, “Guess what?  You’re going to be an uncle,” and he was so happy.  He said something like, “No way!” or “Get out!”  His exact words escape me, but I can still remember his excitement.  I’m not sure when you’re going to meet him, but I do know he’s a bit excited to meet you.

Your dad and I weren’t going to find out if you were a boy or a girl.  We thought it’d be fun to find out when you were born – BUT – I changed my mind.  So, in July, when we found out you were a boy, we were happy for many reasons!  (Of course, we would’ve been happy for many reasons if you were a girl, too.)  One reason I was especially happy was the thought of you growing up with a cousin who was also a boy and the same age as you, Raider.  You guys will share a birth year, though he’s going to be practically a year older than you since he was born in January.

I hope you and Raider grow up as friends.  You guys probably aren’t going to see each other too, too much, but hopefully you’ll see each other one or two times a year.  Maybe we’ll all get together at Christmas time (and in the beginning, I might try to make you guys wear matching outfits – though your uncle might not let me get away with that!).  Maybe we’ll all get together at Thanksgiving or we’ll see each other for a little bit in the summer.  I grew up having lots and lots of cousins, but I was never very close to any of them – mostly because I was much older than they were and also because I didn’t get to see them very often.  I don’t know how many cousins you’ll end up with (right now, you have three), but I’m so happy that you have this one – who’s so close to you in age and who’s also a boy.  You two might end up having nothing in common, and that’s ok, but my hope is that when our families get together, you two will get along and that you’ll look forward to the time spent with your cousin, Raider.  It’d also be great if you looked forward to the time spent with your uncle, Alias.  He can be a lot of fun to hang around – but promise me you won’t believe everything he tells you about me! 

Love,

Mama

 

In Which I Tell You About Church Family

Dear Little One,

When your dad and I were engaged and we talked about having children and starting our family, we never ever dreamed we’d be doing that in another country.  When I imagined what it’d be like, I imagined we’d be moving to another state, I’d find another teaching job, I’d cook lots of dinners in the crock pot, I’d use the bundt pan Grandma gave me for my baking bridal shower, and we’d join a very lively church where we’d make amazing friends who we’d keep forever and ever.  Even though we probably wouldn’t be living in Florida, I still imagined that I’d get to see your grandma about 4 times a year or so – maybe even more depending on what state we ended up in.  But, we moved across the ocean, I couldn’t get a teaching job, our crock pot did not turn out to be the best friend I thought it would, we don’t have an oven big enough to fit my bundt cake pan, and the church we’ve been going to isn’t necessarily a dud, but it isn’t the lively kind of church I envisioned (though for UK standards, it’s pretty awesome).  Also, I get to see your grandma just twice a year.  So, things didn’t turn out quite as I had imagined.  It sounds like I’m complaining, doesn’t it?  I’m actually trying to tell you something positive…

Today I had lunch at a lovely couple’s home.  Jenny came to pick me up for “tea time” (in the morning, that means about 10:30 and in the afternoon/evening, it means about 5:00).  When I thought about making those life-long friends at that lively church your dad and I would’ve been a part of if we stayed in the US, I thought they’d be about our age and kind of be in the same life-stage as us – maybe newly married and maybe new parents.  But, Jenny and John celebrated their 41st anniversary last week and have children who are older than we are.  But, they’ve come to be dear friends and they’re actually part of the reason we decided to stick out attending Greyfriar’s.  It had been about two months since we began going to Greyfriar’s and we were feeling at our whit’s end – like we weren’t meeting anyone – and that’s when we met John.  He was so friendly and welcoming and God knew John was just what we needed to stay at Greyfriar’s.  (Making friends is hard work, my boy.  Please don’t ever take it for granted.) 

So, John and Jenny became our friends – the kind of friends who help you out when you need somethinng (when Grandma came to visit last Christmas, she lost her winter coat somewhere in the airport.  Last winter was such a cold one with lots and lots of snow.  And guess what?  Jenny let Grandma borrow one of her winter coats) and the kind of friends who invite you over for a meal and spend hours after the meal just chatting (the day after we found out I was pregnant with you, we went to John and Jenny’s for dinner) and the kind of friends who are just excited as you are about something good (telling John and Jenny we were expecting you was so fun because they were so excited for us!).  But, John and Jenny, somewhere along the way, moved from our friends to our church family. 

The best way I can explain to you what church family means is to tell you this: Jenny gives me things wrapped up in grocery store bags before church starts – one Sunday she gave me baby bath for you and another Sunday it was baby wipes.  She knit you your first little sweater – a yellow and white striped cardigan and I cried when I opened it.  When she found out you were a boy, she knit you another sweater – a sweet little blue sweater.  One time she said, “Since your mum is so far away, I thought I’d buy you a treat every now and then.” 

(Oh, my boy, you have the hiccups again!!)

Church family steps in when your biological family can’t be there – either because they’re a million miles away or because they simply won’t be there for you.  Church family are also such good friends that they just feel like they’re family – because we really are family, all adopted by God and part of one family.  Growing up, I had such a strong sense of what church family was.  It was just me and Grandma for most of my childhood, but we never felt alone for we had such a big church family.  People from church rooted for me and were there when I graduated from high school.  They sent me off to college with a coin purse full of quarters for the washing machines, a big dictionary (which I used and loved), and a bank account big enough to buy all my books for the first two years of college!  I didn’t have the kind of grandparents who were involved in my life, but I had church family grandparents, Don and Ginnie, and they went to every single orchestra concert of mine (every single one) for seven years. 

One of my prayers for you is that you’ll experience a strong sense of church family – both as you grow up and when you’re grown, married, and starting your own family like your dad and me are.  One of my promises to you is that we will try our hardest to provide that kind of environment for you.  You’ll have real family who will show up for you – grandparents who will attend your orchestra concerts and aunts, uncles, and cousins who will root for you and send you off to college with pockets full of quarters.  But, even still, I want you to have people like John and Jenny in your life – people who aren’t related to you, but who will love you and care for you because you’ve been born into their wider family, the church family.

Love,

Mama

 

In Which I Tell You About Collecting Things

My Dear Boy,

Guess what?  You have the hiccups right now.  I love it when you get the hiccups.  Both your dad and I think it’s so cute.  Ok, back to what I wanted to tell you today…

Your dad told me today that all boys collect something.  He said that girls probably collect things (and I can assure you, girls DO have collections, too), but every boy collects something.  When he was a boy, he had three collections: stamps, stickers, and marbles.  My brother, your Uncle Alias, collected stickers, too.  In fact, he had the most impressive unicorn sticker collection and I was so jealous of it!  Your dad and your uncle are really the only boys I know, though I remember a classmate of mine in the second grade collected all things related to dinosaurs.  His name was Ricky and I sat next to him for a bit that year and one day everyone had to empty their desks because Ricky’s treasured dinosaur ruler was missing from his desk (I’m sorry, but I don’t remember the outcome of the ruler, I just remember that he collected dinosaur things).

Your grandma collected flamingos and wooden churches when I was growing up.  Our house was full of flamingos!  Her favorite color was pink back then, so flamingos were perfect for her.  When I was in junior high, though, she stopped collecting flamingos and started collecting churches and that lasted for several years.  She also has extensive Wind in the Willows, Bob Dylan, eiffel tower/Paris, and Jane Austen collections.  She’s a great encourager of collecting and as soon as you show an interest in collecting something, I know that Grandma will help bulk up your collections, whatever they may be!

When I was young, I collected rocks.  I was so proud of my rock collection and in high school, I even won an essay contest about my rock collection.  The essay was published in the newspaper and I still have about twenty copies, so you’re bound to read it one day (sorry).  I collected other things, too: cat figurines, camels, nativity sets, and copies of The Velveteen Rabbit (remember how I just told you that was one of my favorite books as a kid?). 

Your dad and I have already started a collection for you.  It all started with a piggy bank.  In June when we went home to the US to visit our families, I was in search of a piggy bank for you so we could start saving our loose change that would be yours one day.  I couldn’t find anything I liked until one day I found a pale green owl piggy bank!  Back then, we didn’t know if you were a boy or a girl, so I thought it was perfect – a good color for either a boy or girl!  The collection just grew from there!  Grandma bought you a copy of The Owl and the Pussy Cat (remember how that was the other book I loved as a little girl?), your dad bought you a stuffed owl in a little toy store he found when he was in Germany for a conference, and a dear family friend painted you a picture of an owl for us to hang in your room.  We’ve also picked up a few books with owls in them for you.  Oh, and a few pieces of clothes with owls on them.  So, you’re well on your way to having your very first collection.  But, it’s ok if you don’t want to keep collecting owls.

Your dad and I can’t wait to find out what you’re going to collect.  Maybe you’ll start your own rock or stamp or sticker or marble collection.  And maybe you’ll collect something completely different.  Either way, we’re looking forward to helping you collect whatever it is you’re interested in.

Love,

Mama