Oh, October!

"Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree." Emily Bronte

We didn’t get to see fall arrive last year.  We landed in the middle of reds and oranges and kicked through leaves on our first weekend.  There really wasn’t any build up.  I remember being a bit disappointed arriving on campus and seeing the colored leaves and thinking I had already missed the change.  I didn’t miss it all last year, but the dramatic beginnings of change had already happened.   And, for an almost 30 year old who had never experienced a real autumn, I was a bit let down to arrive after it already happened.  The air was already chilly and my favorite tree on campus was already half red.  The evenings were already dark pretty early.  I didn’t really get to experience the coming of autumn.  I didn’t get to usher the new season in with a ceremonious fall drink.  And so, that October an entire year ago I remember thinking, “Well, this isn’t as magical as I had hoped.  Maybe next year will be different.  Better.“

Would you believe that when I saw the first yellowing leaf in early September, I was angry?  Angry, I tell you!  My strong emotions surprised me, she who has always loved the fall and Thanksgiving and orange.  And when more and more colored leaves started popping up on the very tops of the trees that I could see out of our kitchen window, I called CK in the kitchen and said, very upset, “Look at that.  The leaves are already changing!”  I pouted.  I didn’t want it to happen.  I wanted to pause the world.  I mean, it wasn’t even October yet and half the trees around town were no longer the bright green of summer!

But, you can’t pause the world or slow down the seasons.  The leaves continued to change all through September and I started taking more and more pictures of the same tree so that I could have a tangible record of the coming of fall.   I told myself that as soon as October 1 arrived, I would embrace it: the changing leaves, the darker evenings, the cooler days.  For a while in September I began wondering if I had changed.  Did I even like fall any more?  Did I actually prefer *gasp* summer?

Since today is October 1, and I promised, I’m embracing fall: the leaves, the dark, the chill.  And, in a moment today, just like magic, my questions have been answered: Yes, of course, I still like fall.  I dare say that I still love it.  And, no, I wouldn’t say I prefer summer over fall … I actually can’t say I prefer one season over another, which is shocking!  I’m just 9 days shy of having lived here a full year and I have now experienced the coming of each season, the changing of one season into another, and … with this year, I have learned to appreciate each season, to savor the final days of each season, to enjoy the present. I recognize this little lesson as huge growth for me, for I am, and always have been, a person who lives and breathes in extremes.  I love something, or I hate it.

Living in real, definitive four seasons, though, has changed me just a bit.  Living here has made me just a little more mindful of living in the present, a little more aware of the present, and a little more appreciative of the present – instead of always looking to the future or remembering the past.  I’m happy fall has arrived, and I’m happy that I got to witness its arrival this year.

 

Spring: a bit of heaven on earth

Earth’s crammed with heaven, / And every common bush [or flower or tree or bird or baby duck] is afire with God.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

 

It’s taken six long months, but I’m beginning to love it here.  I don’t love it every day, but I love it on enough days.  Maybe it’s a combination of having spent 9 days with my mom, the evening walks Clark Kent and I have started taking, and the weather warming up just enough that a sweater isn’t absolutely necessary – but, things are definitely up. 

 

It feels like this change has happened overnight.  One day there weren’t baby water fowl swimming about next to their mamas and the next day there were.  One day the trees were still stuck in winter without any green leaves and the next day the leaves were there.  One day the grass was still green and the next day there were bluebells and buttercups.  Walking around campus, our backyard, I get so many glimpses of God – in the baby duckling safely resting next to its mama, in that dark pink bud Clark Kent found on the bank of the lake, or in the perfectly still bird on a branch just waiting for me to take notice before he flies off.  The earth is crammed with heaven. 

 

God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on the trees and flowers and clouds and stars. 

Martin Luther

 

I’m trying to notice, to delight in the dandelions both in their yellow brightness and airy lightness, to look for the baby birds, to enjoy the sun.  I’m trying not to think ahead to the dark fall and winter days and I’m just trying to soak in the spring and anticipate the summer.  Maybe it’s easier to pay attention to nature when it’s all you have – when you’re not hopping in a car to drive a mile or two to the store, when you’re not watching your favorite television program.  Maybe it’s easier to pay attention to nature when you live in the midst of four pronounced seasons rather than the eternal green of central Florida.  All I know is that one definite good thing that has grown out of our time here so far has been my realization that the earth is crammed with heaven.

 

Now I will leave you with a short snippet of baby ducks.  (You can hear Clark Kent thanking a passer-by for a piece of bread.)

 

 

There Were Lots of Flowers

There were lots of spring flowers on Linda’s visit.  The weather has been absolutely horrible this past week, but it was absolutely wonderful and spring-like when Linda was here.  I still love a good rain and I’ve actually loved this last week – complete with a THUNDER storm – but I was so happy that rain stayed away while she was here.

 

Linda brought her Martha Stewart clippers with her.  She made sure they were in her checked luggage.  She also brought the vase you see in the mosaic.  The price tag was still on it – 50 cents from Good Will.  At Christmas time, she seemed distraught that I didn’t have a vase.  I’m not bothered by this – but, Linda was.  And so she came with a vase and clippers and she made two very beautiful arrangements while she was here.

 

The campus is breath taking.  I really had no idea that we were living in such a potentially beautiful place until all these blooms starting popping up.  There’s even a garden on campus (which is where four of the pictures come from).  This spring has taught me to savor every moment, for already most of the daffodils have shriveled up.  For instance, just yesterday, on my way to work there was a stretch of green grass – well, I am not good with the whole 20 yards or 50 yards kind of estimate, but just imagine a big stretch of land – just absolutely COVERED with yellow, puffy dandelions and those sweet little daisies.  Today?  Nothing.  All the flowers were just shriveled up nothingness.  So, I’ve really been trying to consciously look around me before something beautiful is gone – hopefully to be replaced by something equally beautiful.

 

Anyhow, we really enjoyed the campus while Linda was here.  We went on walks and she had her clippers close in hand.  She’s got a great eye – and I enjoyed having her point some things out to me that I would have never noticed.

 

There Were Lots of Willows

One of the “must-dos” on Linda’s list for this spring visit was a trip to the River and Rowing Museum on Henley-on-Thames.  At first, this sounded incredibly boring to me.  I don’t love museums.  I certainly like a museum, or an exhibit, if it’s something I’m interested in or familiar with.  And even then, I’m not too keen on spending too much time in a museum.  When I heard of a river and rowing museum…well, I am neither familiar with nor interested in rivers or rowing.  BUT, she wanted to go to this museum because she discovered that it had a Wind in the Willows exhibit.  All right, I could get behind that – especially since Henley-on-Thames was a very cheap (we’re talking less that £3 roundtrip) train ride and a very quick train ride (close to 20 minutes).  

 

Henley-on-Thames is a nice little town.  There is a beautiful park right along the Thames where the museum is also situated.  We had a delicious snack in their cafe before going through the exhibit.  It was wonderful and both Clark Kent and I were happy that Linda discovered the exhibit, the museum, and the town – right in Reading’s backyard.  Also, you buy a ticket for the museum for the day, but it gains you admission for one whole year!  So, we can most certainly go again.

 

But, the willows…that’s what I was mainly going to write about.  The willows along the Thames are beautiful.  It is no wonder that Kenneth Grahame was so inspired by this very scenery (as he lived in Berkshire, this county).   We saw our first willow as we were about to cross the Thames on one of the only two toll bridges over the Thames.  (Walkers, though, do not have to pay the toll.)  Linda was extremely excited to see the first willow of this trip, as was I.  They really are beautiful and charming and perfect and sweet.  We saw many more along our country walk and in Henley-on-Thames. 

 

And in case any reader wants to experience the Wind in the Willows exhibit, I offer you this video (in which I hate my narration as I have always been one of those people who cringe at the sound of her own voice):

 

Daffodowndilly

 

She wore her yellow sun-bonnet,
She wore her greenest gown;
She turned to the south wind
And curtsied up and down.
She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbour:
“Winter is dead.” 

 

- A.A. Milne

 

The Ides of March

Yesterday was a great day.  I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized it was the Ides of March and I did not have to stress over timing the reading of Julius Caesar so that he’d get stabbed three and thirty times on the 15th of March.  And, what luck that for all the years I’ve taught Julius Caesar, the Ides of March NEVER fell on a Saturday or Sunday (until THIS year!).  I also fondly remembered the Ides of March twelve years ago when this precious photo was taken at our senior prom:

 

I am still amazed that we’re married.  From time to time I will look at Clark Kent and say something like, “Isn’t it so strange that we’re married?”  At first, he didn’t like me asking that – until he realized that when I say strange I use it to mean “absolutely amazing and mind-boggling.”  I like to look at this picture – at these two seventeen year olds who liked each other so much as friends – and think about how they never in a million years would have dreamed that they’d be married twelve years later.  It’s amazing!  This picture is absolute gold.

 

But, back to yesterday.  Yesterday was a fabulous day.  It started out miserably.  I was tired.  I wanted to keep sleeping.  I didn’t want to make a salad.  I didn’t want to walk to church.  I didn’t want to go to our Bible study’s potluck lunch after church (I wanted McDonald’s, of course).  I didn’t want to go to the farm after lunch (I wanted to quickly do some errands in town and then go home, of course).  This is the way I get before something social.  I get very nervous and I just want to cancel and I just absolutely hate social engagements.  Most of the time, however, if I can just make myself get through it (the day, the dinner, the whatever), I do have a good time.  And that’s what happened yesterday.

 

Clark Kent, the sweet husband that he is, took care of making the salad – our contribution to yesterday’s potluck.  I am sorry I didn’t take a picture of it as it was beautiful (and delicious and nearly completely eaten by the end of lunch!).  He also took care of making me toast and tea and letting me be in my bad, miserable mood for about fifteen minutes before he persisted in cheering me up.  Bless his heart, he knows how I get when we have social engagements!  He even carried the heavy salad AND salad dressing (that he made, by the way) on our 45 minute walk!

 

The walk was pleasant.  It was a bright, sunny day and usually, I HATE the sun, but after being caught in a down pour last Sunday, I was happy for the sun.  We saw some pretty spring flowers and bushes along the way (which I took pictures of) and even had to take our sweaters off as it was quite warm (as it got up to 16 degrees! yesterday – I am trying to make the leap to Celsius).  

 

Church was nice – the vicar was the one who preached, which we quite like.  The vicar does not preach every Sunday, which I find a bit unusual.  He is always there on Sundays, and on his non-preaching days, he “leads” the service.   The music was good.  We have gotten to know nearly everyone who we sit near, so the “meet and greet” part of church is no longer awkward for us.  All in all, it was a good morning.  And then it came time to be really social – the potluck.  Of course, like always (though I’ll never learn and will never calm down), things went wonderfully.  We enjoyed conversations with people and got to know a few members of our small group a bit better.  I am convinced that everyone is more interesting that I am.  The food was good and the desserts (or “puds” which they’re called, short for puddings, which drives me crazy!) were even better!  

 

Lunch finally ended and then a caravan was organized to a Berkshire farm about a 20-30 minute drive from church.  We rode along with Miriam and Marcus (and their twin boys and a friend).  It was so nice to get our of the city center and actually see some green pastures and a bit of Berkshire countryside.  The farm experience was pretty incredible.  There was a pony to pet and feed, cows, pigs, donkeys, and lots and lots and lots of sheep and lambs!  There were multiple births while we were there, but CK and I only got to witness one of the births.  It was such an emotional experience.  Sure, there was some grossness to it – the farm smell, the dirty hay, and the fact that farmer put his BARE hand INSIDE the sheep.  The sheep that we saw deliver had to be assisted as her lamb was “malpresented.”  There were tears in my eyes and I was speechless as we watched the event.  I wanted to stay around and watch the little lamb get up and wobble around, but we had to go and join our group for a tractor ride.  (However, we were able to see another lamb stand for the first time and begin to nurse from its mama sheep – just not the actual lamb we saw delivered.)  The tractor ride was fun, too.  There were chickens and stories of badgers and foxes and the beginning of bluebells.  The tractor dropped us off at the refreshment barn where we had hot drinks (I had hot chocolate and CK had coffee) and little cakes (lemon and chocolate) and then we walked back to the lambing shed through the field.  It was absolutely a brilliant day – even though we got home at SIX IN THE EVENING and couldn’t make pancakes because we weren’t able to get to the grocery store in town and buy some milk.  

And just in case you want to see the miracle of (sheep) life, here’s the birth (sorry about the obnoxious whistling boy near me!):

 

 

Spring time

I don’t know when the tree outside our flat started blooming.  Even though I know it must have escaped my notice for several days, I feel like it must have happened overnight for I just noticed it yesterday.  Yesterday!  How lucky I feel that this tree is RIGHT outside our flat.  Like, if we did have a yard, or shall I say garden, this tree would be in it!  On our walk to a local produce store this morning, we both marveled at the spring time beauty around us.  It’s hard not for my thoughts to rest on how God is good when I’m living in seasons.  Especially when I’m in the great big middle of missing my life in America – my 9 inch cake pans and bamboo recipe box and framed Black Apple print and vintage Anthropologie alphabet magnets and my bundt cake pan and our salad bowls and our elegant polka dot dishes and our scrapbooks and my boxes and Rubbermaid containers full of saved things and precious letters and Hallmark and Chick-fil-A and canned black beans and the Cracker Barrel and bacon and Target and ice cream shops and normal bathrooms and normal kitchens and Linda – the season of spring seems comforting in a way I haven’t truly experienced before.  I feel like God is trying to tell me, “Listen, you may miss bacon and everything inside Uncle Bob’s and eating dinner with Linda and you may be frustrated over not being able to find something as simple as canned black beans.  You might be absolutely fed up with the size of beer cans and the amount of litter you see, but there’s something better just around the corner.   Remember how it was dark by 5 pm just a couple of months ago?  Now it’s light still at 6 pm!  See there, isn’t that hopeful?  And what about that tree right outside your flat that has spent months looking dead and bare and unassuming?  It has pretty blooms promising something more now.  There are flowers springing up through dead, crunchy, brown leaves.  Just stay put and endure and spring will come in all its glory.  Summer will follow and you will love it – you will actually love the season of summer for the first time in your life.  And just when you’re tired of the bright, long days and the too green leaves, fall will come and you will be amazed at how pretty the world looks in orange and red and yellow.  Winter might be hard.  It will get colder than you’re used to and it will get darker than you want, but the lake will be still and quiet and even in winter, you might find something beautiful.”  Seasons aren’t new, and neither is the connection of seasons to our life, or the Christian life.  But, when you’re a native central Floridian who only dabbled in seasons once ten years ago as a bright eyed study abroad student for a finite 6 months, seasons are new and so is adjusting to a new life in a new country as a new wife. 

 

And it’s March already!

And the daffodils are out!  My first daffodil spotting was on Friday as I walked from our flat to the laundry room to use the dryer.  I was so happy when I saw the happy, yellow flower!  Saturday brought more daffodil sightings as Clark Kent and I rode the bus to Asda – where we haven’t been in OVER TWO MONTHS!  He cannot remember ever seeing a daffodil, so it was exciting for me to point them out.  Each time I caught a glimpse of one, I’d gasp and say, “LOOK!  There’s a daffodil!”  Then, we saw these lovely ones on the walk to church this morning.  The backdrop isn’t as magical as a pretty park, but I took what I could get!

 

Other weekend highlights included: Grocery shopping for a three week period in just under 2 hours and just under £80 (remember, we don’t convert to dollars and just consider it $80), lunch in the Asda cafe where I enjoyed the roast of the day (something we hadn’t done since the middle of November!), lunch at McDonald’s today (always a highlight), church (always a highlight), brinner (breakfast for dinner), and lots of day dreaming about trips we’re hopeful about (to Bristol, Wales, the Lake District, the Scottish highlands, Paris, Belgium).

 

the promise of a new day

Linda grew up in seasons.  She lived parts of her childhood in Georgia, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey.  She can remember looking at a yard full of snow in the midst of winter and smiling to herself because she knew a secret: daffodils would soon be coming up.  The wonder of the seasons touched her even then as a seven year old girl living in New Jersey having nightmares of kangaroos in her tidy, small bedroom off the kitchen. 

 

More than 50 years later, the wonder of the seasons are touching me as I experience them for the first time in my almost 30 years.  The daffodils aren’t springing up just yet, but the snow drops are.  And so are these sweet purple flowers.  Spring is beginning to show itself here.  The days are getting slightly longer and they’re not as cold as they were just a few weeks ago.  A passerby assured me that in a few days, the snow drops would be open and then the “daffs” would follow shortly.  More pictures of spring are to come.

 

Snow!

Yesterday was easily the best day of the year so far.  I would say that it was the greatest day CK and I shared together since our arrival, but there were some pretty great days over Christmas when Linda was visiting. 

 

CK got up around 8:30 yesterday morning and went to make his coffee while I stayed in bed.  It was colder than usual, I thought, and I just wanted to stay snuggled under the covers for a bit.  Then, CK came walking quickly into the room.  ”What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting up in bed.  He walked over to the window, looked at me, smiled, and said, “Are you ready for this?”  He opened the curtains to reveal a completely white ground AND snow falling!  I jumped out of bed and started crying.  

 

 

 

He had one cup of coffee and then left the other sitting in the French press while he got dressed.  He decided that he’d be a little late to work so we could go on a walk together and take some pictures.  Our walk lasted just over an hour and I took 118 pictures and several snippets of video.  We made snowballs to throw and eat, made snow angels, drew in the snow, danced and slid in the snow, watched children play in the snow.  We met a couple taking pictures around campus who told us that school was optional yesterday.  The parents found out when they went to drop their kids off – and, as self-proclaimed bad parents they told us they decided to leave their kids in school in order to enjoy the snow together!  Shame on them!  Other parents, however, let their children stay home and they all ended up on the campus.  CK and I think that so many people come to the campus because it’s full of wide open fields and people here don’t have much of a yard (or garden, rather).  Kids were sledding, rolling huge snow balls, snow surfing down hills, chasing each other and falling down – but I didn’t see a one making a snow angel.

 

When we returned home from our walk, we warmed ourselves with toast and tea and then decided to head out to Palmer Park.  CK decided that he’d just go into work after lunch!  We figured the park would be covered in snow and there would probably be lots of activity in the park.  And there was!  More of the same from campus – sleds, snow balls, snowmen.   It was a glorious day!

CK made grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch and then…decided he would accompany me to work in the library!  He had plenty of reading to do and set up camp at one of the cubicle study desks on the 4th floor right near my section of Dewey Decimals.  He read (and looked out the window at college kids throwing snowballs at random people who surprisingly didn’t seem to mind) while I shelved.  It was THE most PERFECT day.  (It was also an amazing mail day.  We went to check the mail out of obligation.  I had a great mail week LAST week and wasn’t expecting anything good this week, except banking mail.  Wouldn’t you know?  When I least expect it, THREE letters!  THREE!)

 

And, my Jane Austen class is cancelled today and more snow is pouring down on us.